Category: Teen Topics
Ever since I was about 12 I noticed I got along better with guys then I do with girls. They seem more mature. Or at least if not more mature, they don't start petty drama as much as girls do. I also relate to the things they talk about more. I don't feel like guys judge on things like appearance so much either, and they're less superficial. We can have a good time and I don't have to try and analyze everything I say like I do with girls. The only drawback I have sometimes is that they don't always want to have emotional conversations, and a few of my friends just avoid subjects like that. But I'd rather deal with that any day than another girl, who will just cry along with you and try to make their problems seem more important than yours. And when I do talk to guys about my problems and they actually want to listen, we have a lot more meaningful conversations than I think I could have if I were talking to a girl about them. I don't know, but do you think it's weird that I do this and I get along so well with guys?
nope, I get along with guys better too. Now there is the whole, are they talking to you just for sex thing, but generally speaking, I know how you're feeling. And I totally agree.
No, my friends know I would kick them in the balls if they did that. I also have a boyfriend and I would never cheat on him, and he respects the fact that I do that, which is cool, because not many guys would let you talk to others while you're dating them, but we have enough trust that we know it's not gonna lead to anything.
I am the same way, not sure what it is, but I feel more comfortable with guys, it's like I can relate to them better or something. I don't know why they seem to want to listen and help more so than girls, but it's true. I've had several experiences where girls just turn the conversation right onto themselves, so I don't even bother with that anymore.
Hm. I agree but coming from the other direction. I'd say probably 3/4 of my friends, and almost all of my close friends, have been female.
Hey, I agree with you all. Guys are nicer than girls. They know how to listen, and they can change from having a funny conversation from being serious. Yes, they are not emotional, but if its really important, they show that they care. Guys are more likely to be honest than girls because some times even though some girls don’t like you, they will still talk to you. On the other hand, if a guy does not agree with you, or does not like the way you are, they will be honest about it. I have an equal number of girls and guys that are my close friends. I think sometimes, it just depends on the person and what type of situation your dealing with. Its helpful to talk to girls as well because you can relate to each others problems. I agree that some girls tend to focus the whole conversation on themselves which is not cool, but you’ll know who your true friends are when the situation arises. Another thing, girls tend to change their minds more than guys do. Guys usually stick with their decisions.
OK, I'm very well past my teens, so I apologize for invading this board. However, this has been something I ask myself from time to time because it's always been easier for me to make friends with females and not males. I think part of it is that I just don't have the same interests or points of view a lot of males have. Now, I can't claim I understand women better or can relate to what they go through, because there's just some things about being female that a guy can't understand, but they just seem easier to talk to and make friends with. This is going to be interesting because in a couple weeks I'm going to a retreat that is going to be nothing but men, and although I'm approaching this event with an open mind, I just fear I will not feel in my element there and will probably not have much in common with most of the guys there. I also fear I will be seen as being anti-social or standoffish when in fact I'm just introverted so I tend to keep my ears open and my mouth shut when I'm around lots of new people.
I agree with what prettygurl said. Guys will stick with a decision, once its been made, most of the time.
I certainly hope it isn't weird, because I have gotten along better with guys than with girls for as long as I can remember. Girls are fine for acquaintances and casual friends, and there are definitely some instances where I would prefer to talk to or be in the company of another female, but my really close friends are mostly guys. I think there are only two females in the number of those I consider my best friends. I don't think it's anything to do with maturity levels or self-centeredness, because I've had good and bad experiences with both sexes where that's concerned. But girls do tend to bring more drama to the relationship and aren't always honest with how they feel about people. I've never understood the practice of being 'best friends' with someone and then whenever they're not around, saying completely vicious and bitchy things about them to everyone else. It's been my experience that with guys, I know what I'm getting and where I stand, and I feel much more comfortable and less on guard all the time with them. Females are naturally competitive, always wanting to outdo each other whether it's in a positive or negative area, and I'm not at all the competitive type, so it just works better all around.
yes, it depends on the situation, but I've realised that in the last few years, i've gotten on better with more girls than guys, i'm not sure however when i discuss a problem, i like to do it with a single person not with two of them because the other one will change topic or usually try to make the conversation revolve around them, i have a few really good friends, but the majority of those are female, but some times, you find both males and females can be equally good to talk to. sorry i no that didn't make that much sense, i'm tired. i'll make it better later
I seem to be able to talk to girls better to. Once in a while a good friend will listen, but for some reason ladies really listen and want to help.
I also get along with guys better, but I too have a boyfriend and would never cheat on him. Needless to say, he's well passed the age of "you can't do that" and I'd never allow it anyway, unless there was a very good reason for it i.e. "don't talk to him because I think he's dangerous and will hurt you". But yeah. I find it easier to talk to guys in general. I find that many girls, not all, do the whole drama thing and he said she said and alot are into things that I can't even relate to.
I'm the same, but of course, the other way round. I get along much better with girls and always have done since I was very little. I am, though, one of those guys who likes to talk about their feelings and emotions. I'm not sure if that's as a result of spending so much time around girls, or, if I spend time around girls, because I have that trate and therefore get a long with them better. Shrug.
I do though, enjoy a beer, football, pizzas and generally blokish activities just like any other guy, I just feel I connect better with girls emotionally.
Turtle, it's great that your BF trusts you to talk to other guys and that your loyal enough to maintain that bond between the two of you despite the amount of time you spend among the male population. That's a very special trust you have, and it's all down to your loyalty, and I have all the respect in the world for you for keeping the two seperate. Thumbs up.
I think that people are people, and women, as well as men can be dishonest, ensensitive, bickited, lying, two-faced, and over all, unaware, or perhaps uncaring of the pain they cause others. I generally don't get along with many people, whether they be men or women. I'm my own person, and have had too many people try to turn me into a 'carbon-copy of society at it's worst."
The people I do love, however, I cherish deeply. They've helped me out so much, it's amazing, and I want to extend my hand to them in return.
So, in retrospect, people, for the most part, will always be shallow, veign, and self-centered. You're lucky if you can find anyone out there who is truly a great person, and if you do, hold on tight, because losing them is like losing a part of your soul.
That is so true.
hmm, i have to say that my friends are evenly spaced out. half are boys and half are girls. in some ways, i think taht is way better because i can have the girly things with the girls and the other stuff with the boys. but i do agree, sometimes, its so much easier to talk to a guy about my problems than to a girl. because sometimes, when you're trying to tell a story to a girlfriend, they usually tell another experience of theirs exactly like it. I mean, most of my friends do it automatically and i dont think they do it because their self centered or anything. they're trying to help, but they're just doing it in the wrong way. so, i usually go to my guy friends to talk and stuff. and all they do is agree with you. lol, sometimes tahts the best thing. just to ahve someone there who actually listens and just agree with you. maybe what they're agreeing to is not right, but its a good feeling all the same.
But sometimes, i can also find boys extremely unsensitive, unlike girls. lol, so i guess, it just depends on the situation you're in. and the mood too.
i too have my friends evenly spaced out, but if you want to talk about a problem, mostly i find girls easier to talk to about it because guys may take the mick or not take you seriously. lol minh, you like guys to aggree with you? now i no why you don't talk to me that much lol
ABSOLUTELY NOT1!! I'm the same way!
I ahave many more guy firends than I do girls. in fact, OK, don't flame but this is just my observations, I find that guys tned to be a bit more willing to think about things than girls do. They really analyze things and are independent thinkers, the way we should all be.
However, many of the girls that I see today are willing to let the culture think for them, and don't seem to understand that the culture manipulates them like toys or marienettes.
Just imo, though.
It is strange for me because I am a lesbian but most of my friends are guys also. I feel so comfortable around them and like I honestly fit in.
I def get along with guys way better then girls. I go to guys with most of my problems, cause they listen, and most of my friends r guys, and like only four r girls. Guys r just so laid bak, and I love hanging out with them!
Wow, so that's why I refuse ot be in Girls' Glee Club or in a all-women's ensemble! lol
I also get on better with guys, but i do find that sometimes if a girl shares a problem and I've had a simelar one I share my expieriences to try and help. No it's not being self centered it's just to say one isn't alone with the things they face, but atleast now I know how much that drives people nuts. haha. I'll try not to do that one again. I don't know I also find guys to be less catty. we'll just say I'm a woman and know what happens because I've done it. whether in high school or anywhere else... most girls need to talk and mutual friends offten become the convorsation. Sometimes it's out of malice, but other times it's out of frustration and you need a listenening ear, but inevitabally what you say is taken back and twisted around, or is something said out of anger, and there's the drama. I'm woman enough to admit I've been the evil one and that I've been wronged. So in general I find it easier to talk to men. Maybe I should read some of thoughs books about what makes women tick and take the advice to heart myself. lol
Girls like at 10-14 they're drama certain ones and not mature still. Middle school girls have lot's of fussing between each other and they said and he said. In High School things will change more. I get along with girls/boys because just look at the username I'm Oldskoolrapper and the blocks noes me
Some of your views on guys are a bit misguided, such as not being as judgmental on appearance. But I know what you mean. I wouldn't say that I get along better with guys, but that I have more guy friends than girl friends. I could say though, that I get along better with people that are older than myself.
I get along with girls and even then I don’t have that many friends. I get along with older people, too. People think I am in my twenties all the time.
I admit, though, I do need work in my communications skills, and I have done so online, I am trying really hard to apply it to life.
You know
Like don’t criticize or talk about yourself when not asked. I have stopped talking about myself though excessively, and that has helped me loads.
Well, let me see if I can explain my own opinions on this.
For a very long time now, I have had a lot more female friends than male ones. That is not to say that all of them are, though. I as well, find that I can get along easier with at least some of them. I have always wondered if this is just me, or if others find this to be the case as well. I can talk to quite a number of people, but more of my friends are girls.
now, I'm going to state my opinion on something else discussed on this board. Firstly, I think that assuming that any specific gender judges looks less than the other is ridiculous. It depends entirely on the person, and not the gender. I, personally, don't care how someone looks, and think more about personality than anything. Many of my friends are strictly online or phone world friends, and therefore, I haven't even met some of them. Also, the fact that I am totally blind may help with this a little.
I have never been particularely good at comforting anyone, no matter who it is, but I guess that relates to me, specifically. I mean, most of the time I can understand what they are going through, but it's figuring out precisely what to say that is the problem. I tend to be an extremely logical person, and that doesn't always prove to be advantageous in this type of situation.
I guess another thing that comes to mind is worth mentioning. I have always found it much easier to get along with those who are older than me, rather than people my age. If I were to list off all of the friends I could trust and their ages, many of them would either be older, girls, or in some cases, both. There are a few exceptions to this, but not very many. There is actually a suspected reason for this, but i'm not going to go into it here. If you really want the full, long-winded explanation, send me a private message.
I think I have gone on long enough, so I am going to end this post.
hell no girly, I all so have many male friends myself, both my best friends are men and that's cool. Yah tell me about it the petty drama who's got time for that, if it ain't my drama why deal with it. Guys are simply I mean their complex but not as mutch as us women. They don't like the drama and that's what's cool u no, and they can be more understanding at time more so then another woman. My mom thinks I'm crazy says I should have my girl rfriends but she's a drama queen so yah u no the answer to that one. so, make all the guy friends u want and to hell what everyone else has to say.
I personally prefer to talk to guys because guys are less full of drama. Not to say that I dont have girl friends too, but I have noticed that some of my closest friends are guys, including my very best friend is a guy as well, so I can see where you all are coming from. I like talking to guys because it just seems more fun and less depressing. It is quite a drawback that they're less emotional, well at least my best friend is more understanding, but I really love the fact that guys dont really cause as much drama as girls often do! Dont get me wrong, I like to talk to girls as well, but the thing I hate most about talking to other girls is jealousy and the fact that they sometimes expect you to compete with them. So there's my take on it.
Let me steer the topic in a slightly different direction. Now, if people discover that you have more friends of the opposite gender, do you get criticized or are you told you should make more same-sex friends to create some sort of balance? I've heard this one more than once, usually from females oddly enough, but I'm not sure of the motivation. OK, if I knew more guys who not only shared the same interests/points of view that I have or were just interesting to be around, I'd be right there. But unfortunately, I just haven't found that pack of guys to go travelling around in, and if I did, they most likely would be more the geeky sort and less the beer-and-sports crowd.
I agree with posts 27 and 28. Girls are way more dramatic than guys. My closest friends are girls, but thank God, they're not the dramatic type at all.
It may be easier to get along with more guys than women because they don't worry as much about things and are least likely to make a big deal out of nothing. But it goes both ways. I know some pretty dramatic guys, and I know some overdramatic females.
I wonder if men compete by using violence or feats of strength instead of gossip or drama?
A woman can be just as violent as a guy, especially physically.
Yeah, I figured that. Had an ex who tried it once, but she wasn't very effective and I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction she wanted anyhow. Hahahahahaha!
I tend to talk to guys more sometimes, since more of them are in to history, philosophy, and logic. Not so much for the guys but I get criticized all the time that my friends are much older. I mean the closest person on here and just about the only friend on here is 29. One’s about the same and is my employer. Scary kind of, but people tend to introduce teens to me hoping I’d be friends with them instead. Then, we have nothing to talk about. People also like to criticize the things I like to do they call it so adult like.
aw, i wouldn't criticize you for maturity rachel. but hmmm, i think i have more girl friends than i do guy friends, although i sorta get what the poster of this topic is saying. guys are sometimes easier to talk to because they won't compete or down you like girls sometimes do automatically. i think once you involve girls in your problems you also sometimes welcome gossip and unwanted competition. like minh said girls share their stories as if they're worse experiences or something. i do that all the time, and i don't mean to be competetive or down anyone's situation. it's just automatic. so should prob work on that, cuz who really wants to hear it when they're going through something anyway? a problem i got at least on one ocasion is that i kinda got close with a guy but then he started making references to me in less than respectful ways, sex jokes and that. so that friendship didn't really work...but for the most part, my guy friends are really cool and easy to talk to, but my best best friend is a girl and she's the easiest person to talk to in the world for me.
For as long as I can remember, I've gotten along way better with guys than girls, for many of the reasons others have already listed. I don't like the things most girls are into: clothes, fashion, etc. A lot of women do seem to be obsessed with appearance: hair coloring, nails, make-up, jewelry, etc. Not that appearance isn't important, I know it is, but geez! In college, the girls liked to have hair coloring parties, or go to Denny's dressed up in their prom dresses. *Puke* So is it any wonder that most of my best friends are guys? I do have some female friends, but most are not extremely close. Only one is: we've been friends for 13 years, and she's more like my sister at this point.
Also like others have said, my closest friends have tended to be older than me, even back when I was a teenager, and definitely throughout college. When I was a freshman, most of my friends were already juniors and seniors. That part has evened out as I've gotten older, but it's still a pattern.
No, I can't say as anyone has ever criticized me for having more male than female friends, but I can see where some of you may have heard that. I think those who know me know better than to make such criticisms.
I used to not like my own gender, especially as I got older. But, in the last couple years, I've realized I can be feminine without being girly. There is a difference, thank God.
Same here; on all parts. I don't like the girly things, I use to get along better with older and I have always gotten along better with males. :)
I was listing my friends on here, which current is four. Anyways. then I realized, Hey, they are all guys, all above 29 mostly in there 30's and 40's.
Thank you Sarah. but unfortunately most adults I know do. They don't like the fact I am learning from them, because they might give old ideas... but... hey... I don't really care. They can answer my questions, and the younger people can't. The people wo criticize certainly can't, and most of the younger generation is too slow for me.
I have an equal number of male and female friends as well, but there are times when I can get along with one gender better than the other. There has never been a long period of time in which I could only get along with one gender...Bottom line: there ups and downs in the act of getting along with either gender in my opinion...
I think i'm friends with guys. and girls. too. but. i feel like i getalong with guys. better. smile... i've got some close girl friends. too.. but it depends. on my mood.
I'm dam sure I'm fond of having more female friends. I do get along with both gender but I feel most girls are caring and kind. of course there are few excemptions but most of them are kind, in my opinion.
I'm not sure how many of the zoners are considering me as their friend but I do feel I have earned few reliable and honest friends from here.
I think naturally, we all get along with the opposite gender better than the same gender. so I'm also by the same way.
Raaj
I don't think its weird to get along better with the opposite sex. I personally prefer to have more guy friend then girl friends. Guys are just easier to talk to, i can trust then, talk to them about anything, they don't really judge you & sometimes they are there to lend a shoulder or advice. I never had a problem with my guy friends & we have fun togeter. They can tell me anyting & will will listen & give advice. I enjoy being there for them as much as they are for me.
Girls...well, i just don't really get along with them. I mean i used to have some girl friends in school, but we have sort of gone our own ways now. Ive never really been into any kind of drama with females. I guess its just they bitch & cry over stupid shit. Always talkin bout some bitch they hate or how they wana fight them. To me that just some dumb shit, grow the fuck up! Shit, i guess you can say they piss me off, lol. I don't want female friends who say they wana chill, then when we do we talk bout the bf or ex bf & that bullshit or how one of their homegirls did them wrong or how some chick came at them wrong. Fuck all that, i could stay at home & watch some soap net for that. Plus with me i don't get jealous or have to compete. I just do what i do. I don't worry bout any other female. Life is sooo good without jealous, crazy, hating, two faced bitches! And its gonna stay that way for me (:
You seem to have a very strong opinion on this matter. Nothing wrong with that I guess...I honestly don't mind my female friends talking to me about certain things, as long as they don't get too overly dramatic about whatever it is they're trying to tell me about. But I parcially understand where you're coming from; I'm not saying all girls do this, but I've noticed lately, that I hear more immature drama coming from girls than guys, thus making guys easier to get along with. But like I said in my earlier post, I have an equal number of male and female friends, and there are ups and downs when it comes to maintaining a friendship with either gender, in my opinion.
Well,f ro me, I get along with girls more, because they're just easier to talk to about things than most guys. I do know a few cool guys I hang out with on Skype, but when it comes to emotional help and advice, I usually ask a good friend of mine who is a girl. I too get along with older people though, like my grandmother. LOL I know, many people are close to their grandmothers, but me and mine get along, actually can relate to each other in some ways. Of course, its all about maturity, bu also the ability to have fun sometimes, it has to be sort of balanced. I also like helpng people with like emotional problems, I like to be there for people, try to confort them because it gives me the feeling that I've helped someone in my own little way.
I'm gonna be probably unpopular for saying this:
Girls that want to cry on your shoulder don't, much as young men may imagine, want to get in your pants. In other words, many times all these women friends are friends but a. won't date you, b. date the guys you think are jerks, and c., want you to listen to the whole story from start to finish, and d. you get nothing in return save the 1990s thenthitive-man-award, for which there is plenty of competition.
I'm not a dark-and-silent-type myself, but I will say be sharp enough to stay away from being the proverbial dumping ground, unless your gay or otherwise unavailable / uninterested.
I'd say when I was younger I had half male half female friends, maybe 40 60 or 60 40 but am glad I learned early to steer clear of the pseudo-asexual-male-friend-dumping-ground aspect: plenty of reasonable women you can be friends with.
Tell me about it1! my best friends are mostly girls. I know it's weird to some people, but it's not. It's perfectly normal.
Oh wow, I can't believe this topic got dragged up. Well, my stance on this topic has changed a bit, I would say that while I still feel I get along better with guys, if I do have female friends, it's more likely that they're a lot older than me. It seems like a lot of young people are so caught up in being superficial that they don't take the time to be considerate. That and they love to hear themselves talk about their problems, their drama, everything to do with them. But if you ever need them, they either talk behind your back or just don't give a shit. It's that attitude that lead me to avoid having female friends in the past. I guess it's just the general erosion of socialization that causes it, but it's hard to say.
I'd hope it isn't weird, haha cuz mostly everyone who is willing to talk to me for long conversations at school are girls, plus it just seems a lot smoother
also girls are more mature than guys at this age haha
I find it kind of ironic that so many of the girls who post here who get along better with guys say they can't stand the drama, and that it's mostly females who initiate it, yet they talk as though they're not one of them. If you agree that it's females who are the drama starters, and you are female yourself, perhaps you are one of the drama starters, going by that logic. and if you really do avoid it, and the girl who posted before you here avoids it, as does the girl after you, then maybe females aren't as much into the drama as many of us seem to think.
right. Now, with that out of the way, onto my opinion:
So many great points were made. I don't usually end up on bad terms with most people, but I'm not close to many people either. And of the few friends/acquaintances that are my age, or close to it, they're mostly female. however, most of my close friends are both male, and older. Also, most of my female friends aren't extremely feminine, either. I don't mind talking about hair and clothes, but I get bored of it very quickly, and I can't stand obsessing over it. I can appreciate conversations about love and romance, but the fairytale, perfect ideal romance stuff gets on my nerves pretty quickly as well. But at the end of the day, what it all boils down to is that I gravitate towards people that share enough interests and views that we can hang out and chat without getting bored of one another. And when we do happen to differ, I like to talk to people who can firmly debate their point, without getting preachy or condescending about it. it just so happens that the majority of those people are older males. But if they happen to be younger, and/or female, that's great. and this certainly doesn't mean that I'm friendly with every older male, either.
My own update, I guess:
I have done some soul-searching in the past couple of years. Living in the proverbial box / the suburbs where I cannot just get up and go out as I am accustomed to, may account for this.
Anyway, I'm not sure how valid my own experience ranks up in the stats on here because of the following:
I have noticed now being in the early 40s, that I have never really committed to friendships the way a lot of people talk about. Sure, I've been friends with a lot of people, had good times / showed people a good time. But I've never really developed the depth with friendships that some people talk about. I notice on my Facebook, for instance, I have a lot of contacts (so-called 'friends',) some of whom I profoundly respect, like, consider to be friends, some people I knew a couple of decades ago. But I don't really do what they now call 'connect' the way some do, and I can observe this by watching the show that is the daily Facebook news feed. I'd say the older I get, the more the ratio changes to being more guys than girls. I am still not that knowledgeable about sports, though since growing up some, and knocking off the young 90s snooty behavior towards jocks (which is equally immature as the meatheads themselves), I have attempted to learn some about the sports world, because like any adult human being, I try and show at least some interest in what the other person is interested in.
As to the women, well, it's not that I care less regarding all of their concerns and petty things, what you all call drama: I simply have less energy and emotional / mental space for it all. It's very expensive energy-wise, and being I have a wife, a daughter and a gaggle of nieces, that is about it as far as emotional capacity goes. Now as to lesbian friends? They tend not to distribute all the drama that straight whites do.
What I have grown tired of is the constant demeaning of males in general. I don't think the answer is to start demeaning females: just stop the damned demeaning already! I cannot atone for the sins of the fathers in the 1950s: I was not even thought of back then. I cannot even atone for the fact her boyfriend / lover / brother did or didn't do this or that, nor is that my responsibility. Men are not collectively responsible for one individual's behavior. Life's hard enough for most human beings as it is. There's no need to add perpetual failure, no matter how economically profitable for feminists and fundamentalists alike, into the mix.
All that being said, I have recently met women in the Coast Guard for whom I have gained immense respect. I'm not talking about the girly 'Respect meeeeee!' type fake respect. I'm talking the kind where you sit up at full attention and with nothing but unbridled pride as they earn their stripes ... and you hope that you can do likewise.
I also see the nieces and daughter behave quite differently than their older counterparts did, and still do. Many young people are talking about maturity on here: maturity is like sex: there's those who talk about it, and there's those who have it. But honestly? These young ones are really on a roll: they don't get into the male / female banter (what an immense relief that is!) They seem to have fewer hang-ups, probably a negative to those forces who use hang-ups and shame as a means to psychotically control people. I was immensely pleased when a niece told me her troubles as a responsible young woman, didn't start in with all the 'all men' this, or 'all men that', and gave herself the distinct advantage of claiming responsibility for her own part, saying how she was going to get herself out of the situation. Nothing is more repressive than the victim status, and it seems the younger women are shedding that like yesterday's used clothes. With an attitude like that, they, not my generation, will have made real strides for women in whatever quarters they want to get into.
Anyway sorry for the slight drift, guess it is what it is.